Eternal Insects
Chinese ancient great thinker Zhuangzi said that once he dreamthe was a butterfly, but he didn't know if he was Zhuangzi who haddreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming he was I reviewed my almost 20 year creative career, I found that theinsects seem to be the eternal theme of my works. I don’t know I think that, just like the butterfly in Zhuangzi’s dream, myinsects must have their own significance.
I first encountered the insects theme in the late 1980s and theearly1990s. In China, that is an age in which we were just breakingaway from the imprisonment of thought. There is sharp conflictamong the information explosion, pluralism of ideology and thelimitation of reality. As a young fine arts major universitystudent, cruel and helpless reality couldn’t give some comfort tomy anguish and turmoil inner.
At that time, reality for me was like an old picture withoutcolor. Until one day, like a day dream, I encountered an insect inmy work. The insect is such an unflattering smallcreature that also contains creation and the principle of is like a symbol of life and soul opened the way between myheart and the outside reality. I have tried to put the insects intoa strange space. This space is big enough, and at the same timesmall enough, where the spiritual insect can gallop inside freely,because it is an unlimited universe beyond the consciousness ofhuman being.
I remember that I very enjoyed the making process, enjoyed thesensation that came from the interaction between myself and thematerials, and thus almost forgot myself. It waslike an effective medicine that got into my depressed heart andgave it freedom and great release. It was many years later when Igradually came to understand that that is a kind of self discoverypoint to the deeper heart which is caused by the strong pressure ofthe cruel reality. It is a wearing shackles dance.
After that, the insects usually continue to appear in mywork. It is indeed an eternal theme. Maybe itwill disappear one day, or it will continue. Whoknows?
永遠的蟲
中國古代的大思想家莊子說過,有一天他夢見了蝴蝶,醒來後不知道是自己在夢中夢見了蝴蝶,還是蝴蝶在夢中夢見了自己。回顧我將近20年的創作生涯,蟲子這一主題時常在我的作品裏出現,我不知道爲什麼。不過我想,就像莊子夢中的蝴蝶一樣,我的蟲子一定也有它自身的意義。
第一次和蟲子這一主題相遇是在上一世紀八十年代後期以及九十年代初。在中國,那是一個剛剛擺脫思想禁錮的時代。信息的爆炸,思維的多元化與現實的侷限產生了劇烈的衝突。對於一個年輕的,即將畢業的美術系大學生來說,我時常感到無所適從,充滿青春的苦悶和騷動的內心絲毫不能在殘酷而無奈的現實中找到任何安慰。現實對於我彷彿一張發黃的老照片,毫無色彩。
直到有一天,我和一隻蟲子在畫面裏不期而遇,像一個白日夢。我仔細地審視着它——這個渺小的生靈,總是被人們忽略,但它卻包含着自然無限的造化和法則。它像一個富有靈魂的生命符號,突然打開了我的內心與外部現實的通道。我想把這種感覺表達出來。很長時間,我被一種表達的衝動困擾着。突然有一天,我把一隻具體的蟲子放入了一個陌生的空間。這個空間是那麼的大,同時又是那麼的小,因爲它是超越人類意識之上的無限的宇宙概念,足以讓一個富有靈魂的生命符號在其間自由地馳騁。
至今我仍然記得,觀念表達和符號選擇的準確對應使我那段時間能夠完全沉浸在製作和表達的快感裏。我被一種由於意向選擇的準確所導至的自我和材料之間的互動所產生的欣快感所包圍和控制,似乎達到了一種物我兩忘的境界。那種狀態像一劑良藥,使我焦慮和苦悶的內心得到了自由地釋放。直到多年以後我才逐漸明白,那是一種在殘酷而無奈的現實擠壓下所產生的向內心深處的自我挖掘,是戴着鐐銬的舞蹈。
從那以後,蟲子這一主題時常在我的作品裏出現,直到現在。對我來說這一主題或許是永恆的,也或許它將會在某一天消失。誰知道呢?
夢想與現實之間的磨合讓我讀懂很多生活的語言,風雖改變了方向,卻沒有改變我的行程-----
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